night time mystery - can two stars meet ?

I think I have an undisclosed admirer.

Someone I fallen for , but I don't even know their name.

Just a feeling I got.

When I closed my eyes after star watching , I thought

I would open my eyes to find them.


How strange.

how awesome.

night time muse , please return !

Calling ISF Edmonton.

Are these pictures from a third world country ?

No they are of a modern first world country!

Why does our home look like an outdoor trash

heap?

Edmonton_ISF

Our Twitter page is inactive. That is unacceptable !!!!

Anyone interested in keep the streets of Edmonton clean

and safe ?

E-mail me at ms.molinamcavoy@gmail.com .

We all have too do something about this. 

CLEAN UP !

Earth Day 2013

                                                   April 22, 2013: What did you do for
                                                   the Earth today? Did you know we
                                                   only get one Earth , with no replace-
                                                   ments? We only get one chance to
                                                   take care of it. Don't you want an
                                                   Earth to take of next year?
             
                                                   But well it be here next year?
                                                 

Beautiful Creature

Beautiful creatures is a fantasy story. Sure.
But it is a true story.

We decide to be claimed by the darkness or light.
We wake up in the morning , and we have to decide
what we want. Are we worthy of other people's
affections of their love?

Do we give up on our dreams because we
feel too powerless? Or do we fight destiny
and fate and do those tasks that seem
to overwhelm us seem to be too much.

Those things that seem too big for words
too big to explain , those are the defining moments
of our lives. That explains who we are.

We can easily be overcome by the darkness
in our lives , let it seep in and control us.

Or you can take the harder route and be
light. How is that not a real part of our lives?


Giving up the first person I loved nearly
killed me. I wanted to give up. I wanted to die.
No one could convince me I had a life to live
but myself. No one could help me but me.

And there well be other times in your
life when the darkness seems too much
to hold back. Don't hold it back , fight
it then.

Be foolish , have faith and courage
no one can make your situation
perfect like you keep hoping it well
be , but you can always fight the
darkness.

Ask yourself why you gave up
in the first place? What did you
want in the first place?

Is it still there to fight for?

Are We Catching Fire ?

Are we catching fire like Katniss Everdeen?
Sure she was tricked into being the spokesperson for the over throw of the capitol , but she then decided to join into it full heatedly. Are we the complacent , unknowing people in the capitol unaware of people's suffering ? Or are we the honest , starved workers of the districts ?

Is there a hidden district 13? What I mean is there a secret society that doesn't stay quiet? You are reading this blog today this is a distraction , you are distracted by that ad for McDonalds , that nike shoe store. There is nothing wrong with them , but we all stopped by being distracted by consumerism , t.v , and junk.

How many ads did you see today . At bus stops , billboards , t.v , radio , websites , movie theaters . They are everywhere ! I was distracted by "Catching Fire". If we all stopped watching tv , movies , radio , and tried to avoid billboards for a week.

What would we see? What is the difference between what you see and what is there?
Question everything .

You keep track of the ads you see this week. What is the brick building behind the nike store? What is behind the nike ad? Before you saw your first distraction , that is when you saw the world. Not the distraction.

Book Questionaire ( reply with comments)

Emo/punk girl leaves home to go to college
and joins a rock group to escape family
troubles. Comes back to family after
long line of mistakes and errors.
Loves family finally.


Are there enough people to fit my criteria ? enough people to market to/
well my target audience benefit from my book?
do I understand what drives my target to make decisions?
can they afford my book?
can I reach them with my message?
are they easily accessible ?

My brother drank. we had told him not to. I knew hadn't listened because he didn't want to. But somehow I was still hoping he wouldn't. But now I realize , I don't need to worry as much because I am the person running my own life not A. A , and K aren't running my life.

I just let them , because it is so hard not to pay attention to their drama.

But this is my stage now , and I am going to rock it.

Back to the story. My Dad told my brother not to drink while we were in the car. I knew A wasn't listening , but I supposed he might not drink anyway. A is an alcoholic. In and out of the hospital so many times this past year. Hundreds of dollars wasted on booze.

A is mentally handicapped , technically he has a low autism spectrum disorder ( which is a very vague diagnosis) and speech disabilities. But is still very smart in some ways , smarter than me the college graduate.   He can read maps , books , program computers, take them apart and put them back together again.

He is fascinated by his German and Scottish heritage. Always asking questions about it.

But he can't see past alcohol. I am not even sure he can see how much he is hurting us. It always seems like he has forgotten. I certainly can't forget. The many times he brought home enough liquor to feed a thousand and drinks it all in three weeks.

My father D, is a diabetic . He has to take insulin daily to live. A took his needles for injection. A thinks he needs extra vitamins and protein to live. Even though we have tried to tell him he is just fine. We have been able to stop him from using D's needles. Or so I think. D said he would hide them from A. But how sure I am really , that A hasn't found them anyway?

K would open his shirt ( she is the most bold out of all of us) and find red swollen marks on his chest. One time a medical team saw it , and took him to the hospital because they were dangerously infected.

I gave A the money to buy tickets for an event. I forget that he would probably buy alcohol with it. He came back with a beer and I flipped. My heart was dipped in acid and sawed in half then set on fire. Nothing could be more painful. A well always be the person to unintentionally hurt us. A might never understand how he kills us with his actions. A well always be the villain with out even knowing it.

And A hurt me , A killed the last hopeful part of me. I no longer have hope for him , I care but I simply won't do anything more for him. The price has become too high for me.

My other sister H, has been going through some mental trauma lately and needs to be watched. H and me moved from the buffet room to the dance hall and found another horror.

A had more drinks. I tried to sit at another table so I would not have to feel my heart slice in two again. But some other people noticed us sitting at this table. I told them it wasn't mine , because I was so horrified of A I couldn't think.

In shock , I sat with H at A's table. I didn't want to be there. Didn't need to be there , except that is where H wanted to be and I had to protect her. I sat and turned my eyes from the monster that was A and turned to the play.

I almost cried. Grief overcame my face and all I could see was the most dark blue. The double sided sword had pierced me once again and left me dying on the dance floor.

I felt all the pain I had been hiding , it came as a tsunami comes. You can't be prepared for that. You only assume crash positions and wait to die.

The pain overcame every cell and dark corner of  my scared, withered, and starving body and I nearly fell over. One simply should not be able to go through that and stay sitting. It should over haul you and send you crashing to floor, gasping for air and unable to move.

But somehow I stayed together and lived. And slowly the frozen mask that was my face changed. The tsunami lost its power and I could breath again. My heart slowly pumped blood back through my body. And the color returned to my once stone cold cheeks.

The play in front of me was amazing , vibrant and over saturated with pure joy and laughter. This magic healed me , and for one brief moment I was a whole and untainted person.

I didn't know or remember any pain, I was free. I was alive and me again!  I almost felt like I was dancing and playing along with them on the stage. Vampires , zombies , ghosts , and Frankenstein. They may all be monsters but they were the best friends in the world I could ever ask for. They may be scary , but they are not horrifying.

And while I watched them do their amazing routine, I forgot about H. H wandered off. She likes to do that sometimes , well all of the time. I was so transfixed by the play I forgot about her.

I wandered away from the table and the monster. And couldn't find her. H had D , and D had taken her back to hospital. As I spent my time outside in the cold winter air I realized something else.
I was transformed. This morning I had waken up in a foreign country that had once been my home. And I won't wake up and find myself here for much longer. Melody people call me. How jealous I feel of them.

They have a name for me . They seem to know me , can put me in a neat little niche. But I do not know who I am. I feel like a nobody most of time. Melody used to be this pudgy girl clinging to books and fantasies. Running to the library ever day after school , no real friends but the dragons and witches on the covers of books.

I still like that person. I still feel like that person a little bit. But I am not Melody. I don't feel deserving of Melody. Melody is a gratitude and a regard most high I don't deserve. And even if I did , I am not that person anymore.  I am some one , I just know who that someone is.

And most days I feel invisible. I know I am not. But it is so easy to believe. No one helps , no one sees the pain I am in. The near death of the every day evil that is my life. I must truly be invisible.

Yet invisible with eyes that see and understand everything. Every motion is visible. Every word spoken and unspoken heard. Every touch goes noticed and every movement calculated.

I feel like I have eyes in every corner of the world. And with that preparation , I still can't defend my self against heart break. Maybe no one can all the time. But I just thought I would fall apart. Just wished I would. I saw the other happy souls outside , and I knew I wouldn't be damned forever. The next chapter well be forgiveness and transformation. It just has to be.

Hi bloggers,

It's weird Mel here. I don't want to go into too many details , but I am going through a family crisis right now. A long running crisis. The amazing part of day today was that I realized it isn't going to stay that way. But I have to be bold and make the first move.

The ones you love most can hurt you most, but in away I am grateful. I need a kick in the but to change and scram out of here.

I felt my heart rip and decimate, it was terrible. But all the same, it couldn't have been a more wonderful event , because I now I know it isn't going to stay this way for long.

I am getting away from family's ongoing tragedy , and making my own story.

The one I have desperately needed for along time.

The story where I finally get to be me.

I don't want to forget how painful today was , it was the most terrible and wonderful feeling ever. It was the feeling of change. Qe sera , old life , you do not exist.

A's drinking is not the ruler of my life , I am .  So , I have no need to be scared ! I am free!

Caroline's View Chapter 2 Part 2

Caroline closed her eyes cleared her head , she thought of her father. She needed a father to protect her from all the creepiness. She really wanted her father. But where was he? With his gay partner Stephen. But he always sent her nice birthday presents , and answered her phone calls. Caroline cried again , where was anyone to help her?

She remembered her plan to destroy Elena , and cruel smile displayed on her lips. Elena could pay. Elena could feel pain , so maybe she could feel a little less.

Caroline turned on the news. Reports of a man drained of blood in Fell's Cemetery came on. The Fell's Crusader's football team beat Rosedale at the tournament.

Caroline smiled at the thought of Tyler Smallwood beating the opposing team's defence with his wicked shoulder slug. Tyler wasn't very bright , he struggled to keep his grades high enough to be in football. But he always knew how to play offensive and push other people in his way. Caroline remembered Elena and her's eleventh birthday party.

It was today , March 27. Five years ago. Their birthday's where ten days apart. Caroline's on the 22 and Elena's on the 1st of April. So they would have a joint birthday party on the 27. Elena had promised they would be friends forever. They pinky swore and took a ceremonial drag on one of her father's abandoned cigars.

They just thought it would be fun. But the cigars tasted terrible. Caroline had found the cigar so disgusting she dropped it still lit on the rug. A burn mark remained on the carpet hidden underneath the coffee table. And sometimes seeing it made Caroline smile. That was a good time they had together, perfect . Before her mom got busy with her work , and her father left for Stephen. Before boys , proms, and dates.

And before Caroline began to notice Elena growing taller , more like her late mother. So effortlessly beautiful. And when Caroline looked at herself in the mirror all she could remember was her chubby eleven year old face. Chubby cheeks and buck teeth.

Caroline rubbed the old burn mark out with carpet cleaner and planned to ruin Elena's perfect smile again with a new determination.

Sheriff Forbes looked down , the man murdered did not have the livid marks of blood pooling down. Instead were two bite marks on the neck. Sheriff Forbes called the Town Council. She had found a vampire victim.

Caroline's View

Chapter 2

Caroline walked the path along side the balcony and jumped out. It was just two feet from the ground. Caroline found her stash of cigarettes and lit one. Her mom really got on her nerves. A little bit of nicotine just eased the pain a little.

"It is really unattractive to see a lady smoking, you should really think about quitting." 

"Who are you?", Caroline asked nerve wracked.

The man who had addressed her suddenly appeared right in front of her just a foot away, impossibly fast for a human who was behind her just a moment ago.

"Well , a lady who doesn't know me , I am sad."

"Wait!"

"I never wait for anyone."

"You are the mysterious informer on my Mom's radio. You are Damon Salvatore." Caroline implored her intruder with her bright blue eyes.

"Congrats , I was waiting for you to figure it out."

"What are you doing at my house? I don't like you, you sneaky jerk! "

"Oh , Miss you think you are the queen of pain. You don't know anything."

Damon's face gorged with veins and his eyes turned a bright piercing red. Caroline began to scream.  But a second latter she felt nothing. 

She opened her eyes and woke up from a dream.

And saw the raw bite on her neck. Where two holes had pierced her skin , they looked a little like animal bites. But no dog had just two teeth.

She had forgotten about the intruder to her house and her recent fight with her mom.

Smoke , she thought. Caroline ran back into the house to find the source of smoke.

Inside the kitchen was filled with smoke and fire raged from the oven imbued with a roasted beef and onion smell. Caroline found the fire extinguisher and put the fire out. 

The roast was unrecognizable as beef anymore. Caroline took her mother's credit card that she had left in her hurry to answer the radio call and ordered pizza from the grill. 

Caroline didn't care whether her Mom noticed the theft , she won't start being my mother all of a sudden. Caroline passed her cheerleading outfit on the couch and began to munch on pizza. And the thought of two red piercing eyes came unbidden in her memory.

Caroline shuddered. And a black crow with thick reflective feathers smiled outside. A smile that didn't look crow like or human like.

Caroline's View (post 2)

Sheriff Forbes laid the potatoes on the table.  She looked up at her daughter coming down the stair and saw her tearstained face and her finger covered in ink.

"Are you alright , honey?"

"You , care?" She demanded.

"Of course I care Caroline. What is wrong?"

"Elena , oh that's right I should just be proud of myself! Are you proud of me? Really?!"

"Yes , I am." Sheriff Forbes approaches Caroline.

The police radio lights up behind her. Buzz. Suspect headed towards  Fell's Cemetery. Victim drained of blood. No possible suspects at the time. Informer Damon Salvatore suspect's his brother Stefan is somehow involved. 

"Oh , do you need to get that Mom ?" Caroline looks up at Sheriff Forbes and just hopes for once her mother can be hers for a day.

Sheriff Forbes looks at her daughter with concern ," You know I don't love you any less when I answer a call. But this is my job , I have to take it."

"But what about me? Aren't I your first job ? I came first!"

The lights go off on the radio again.

Caroline glares at her mother intensely hoping to burn a hole in her uniform with her eyes.

"What do you want from me Caroline?" Sheriff Forbes screams, " Am I supposed to quit my job?! There is nothing else for me to do in Fell's Church!"

"You know what fine ! Be every one's else mother. When you hear the radio go off again it well be Caroline Forbes GONE MISSING !"

Sheriff Forbes gave her daughter one exasperated glance as she slammed the door behind her. The roast beef began to burn in the oven.  Caroline watched the smoke rise from the oven and left the house.

Caroline's View

The Vampire Diaries

Caroline's View

By: Melody McEwen

Chapter 1

March 27 

Dear Diary,

Elena was chosen for Miss. Fell's Church again ! I am pulling my hair out. What did I do wrong ?! I applied four months early. Had a polite supper with the mayor. Volunteered  everyday for six months and I still didn't get it.

Mom says I did a fine job , and to be proud of myself anyway. What does she know about me anyway? When is she ever home to notice anything about me?

Just once I would like her to stay home for a whole week without getting a mysterious call from some informer called Damon Salvatore. She is my Mom, not everyone else's.

Elena doesn't know what is coming for her though. This year isn't her year just because she is Miss.  Fell's Church again. I am going to make her pay for everything. And little Ms. Ice Princess and her posse of misfits won't raise their heads again in Robert E . Lee High.

Caroline Forbes put down her powder blue diary under her pillow. Her Mom ( more like the pretender) was calling her for supper.  What ever she thought , not like Santa Claus is coming for roast beef.

Caroline cleared tears from her face she didn't realize were there , tasted the tears on her tongue and left her room for another round with her mother.