This dream hasn't actually occurred. But It seems real enough.

Damon and I enter the meadow. I see a stag , I go out to hunt it. Damon tells me to stop and I do. He asks me what I really want , I don't think you are going for it you are just going for the stag because you can satisfy yourself on it for a while. You want something bigger juicer.

You want a human , more importantly you want to feel human again.

Yes , I have felt strange lately.

The hardest and most terrifying thing is to admit what you want, he says , because you are scared of winning , you are used to being held back and feeling helpless . This freedom is more scary than being held back. If you don't go for what you want now , you well lose your chance.

I agree , I want to be human again. And leave the meadow.

The Vampire Diaries Klaus Dream

I had a dream about The Vampire Diaries last night.
Well not Vampire Diaries exactly but Klaus.

We were eating together. And I showed him what food was. He had taken the cure and was human again for a second time. I showed all the marvellous food I could. He loved all of it. I showed him a coffee cup from second cup and said . " This is were you sip the coffee from , don't worry no one else has drunk from the cup." I think he is going to hate the coffee.

And then he says "Aha , this is amazing , I absolutely love it. This is the best ever!"
He gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek for introducing him to coffee.

Then piles the rest of the food into a blanket , and says : " Here you are so great you can have the rest." But as he piles more types of food together I am grossed out and feel sick.

Hope there is more Vampire Diaries dreams to come.

In Tribute of Internet Traffic

I have had 8 page views today , and those are all probably from post on Tuesday.
Thank-you for following me online. I really do these posts for you the bloggers and internet consumers. I like to think we are all friends meeting in a huge chat room.

In gratitude of this I would like to post a picture I did in Illustrator.
This of a person who has lost her humanity and I can't help but thinking this is an accurate description of me to right now. I have a lot to grieve for, and I do feel a little less than human.
To see my blog on Melody McEwen Designs with more up to date pieces
click Melody McEwen Blogspot .

Feel free to post your own artwork online , you never know who well notice you and recognize you for it. If you have any type of art piece send it to me here. I would love to see it. We are all explorers in this world. Lets make it easy and share.

Creative Writing

A Case of Mistaken Identity

Mo Melody McEwen angry that her twin sister Melody McEwen had pretended to be her . Demanded that Melody McEwen please stop pretending to be her. Melody McEwen then knew this was her chance to trick Mo . 

" I well stop pretending to be you if you give a nickle for for every dollar you have and a feather for every one hundred"

Mo , thinking this would not amount to much money agreed.

Mo then became a millionaire and then Melody also became a millionaire at much slower rate.

Mo confused asked; " Why did you want a feather for every one hundred dollars I make?"

"To make suit out of feathers and fly away of course."

Carrying a huge stack of money Melody flew away in her feather suit.

Mo was then shocked to find that all her money had disappeared . It would appear that Melody had lied and continued to use her name and had stolen every penny that she had made a five percent profit.

As Mo Melody McEwen became old , and sick on her death bed , she asked her family and friends to gather at her bed and said ; "Never trust the girl in the feather suit." 

And oddly enough the person in the bed was not Mo Melody McEwen , but Melody McEwen. Melody McEwen had done such a convincing job of tricking everyone , that they forgot what Mo Melody McEwen had looked like . 

Moral of the story : question everything you say and do.

A Plea for Some Prints

* WARNING*:
THIS LINK CONTAINS A VERY UNFORTUNATE LINK TO SOME TERRIBLE ART PRINTS BY BRETT HELQUIST.BY NO MEANS , ENJOY THE ARTISTIC VALUE OF THESE PRINTS , AND CERTAINLY DO NOT PURCHASE ALL OF THESE FOR MY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS BECAUSE CERTAINLY I WOULD NOT ENJOY THESE PICTURES OF UNCERTAIN AND DEFINITELY BLEAK CIRCUMSTANCES.PERHAPS YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF CONSTRUCTING A YURT , RUNNING AWAY FROM COUNT OLAF , OR FINDING A CURE TO LAYCRMOSE LEECH BITES.I CERTAINLY DID NOT ENJOY MY TIME WRITING THIS MESSAGE FOR NO APPARENT REASON.SO CERTAINLY DO NOT REMEMBER ANY DREADFUL MESSAGE YOU HEARD ABOUT SOME PRINTS BY SOME DREADFUL ARTIST , OR SOME LEECHES OR ORPHANS RUNNING AWAY FROM A DREADFUL CON ARTIST.I AM RATHER CONFUSED WHY YOU CAME TO READ THIS POST FOR ANY REASON AT ALL.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/BrettHelquistArt?ref=ss_profile

Grave Horrors Chapter 1

1

The cat looked up at the sky and wondered what those white dots were.... "Can I reach them" he asked out loud. The stars answered back "Yes" with a whisper. And the black cat became white as he grabbed all the stars from the sky. And the white full moon shone eerily on Halloween night. And the dogs howled, and the wind blew the gates back and forth to release an eerie creak.

The gruesome corpse slid the lid off the coffin and wobbled as she took her first uneasy step as an undead woman. The movement wasn’t fluid and easy; it was stiff and natural, as if the joints that were moving weren’t meant to be moved.

And Delilah Morley wasn't thinking she was simply moving, the body that used to belong to Delilah Morley was being pulled by someone else's magic, and she was someone's puppet.

The mortician saw the fresh corpse climb out of the coffin and screamed a blood curdling scream.

And she ran out the door unable to think or speak, because all she could do was scream. She ran but she didn't know where she was going to, her body was following a primal instinct simply to leave and save herself. She ran out of morgue through the stairway and out to the garage.

She then continued to run all the way home, five miles.

She couldn't stop herself; she could simply not stop running until she reached home, locked the door and saved herself from the unholy abomination she saw. As she regained her breath and posture, she heaved a wet cough. Her stomach didn't take the adrenaline rush well, and the reserve peristalsis promptly rid her of of the nice cheese burger and fries she had happily eaten four hours ago.

As she regained herself again, her pulse finally slowed down, and her breathing eased. 

I am not hallucinating, that must have been real. I don't see things that aren't happening. Not usually.

She paused. The house was quiet, there was no one else there, and Margie and her kids had gone to see their family for the week, so she had the house to herself.

She picked up her cell phone from her purse and began to dial Ethan. He was always the type of person to remain calm in a crisis situation he would know what to do.

Ring, ring, the phone rang ten times before it was answered and Elise even though she had calmed down sweated profusely with anxiety.

"Hello," Ethan said,” Elsie how are you? "

Elsie paused for moment wondering what to say, would he believe her? How could anybody, it was so insane, so unnatural.

"Hello?"

"Yes, I am here . I saw something very strange at morgue. And I ..... I need to figure what it was."

"You see strange things at the morgue all the time Elise, the murderers become more sick and demented, and it shows on the victims. I know this is a difficult j.."

"Don't patronize me Ethan, I am fine. Can you promise though that you well believe me when I tell you what I saw? “She took a deep breath as she concentrated on sounding composed and sure of herself.

"Even if it sounds crazy?"

Ethan was wondering what the hell was going on , Elsie always kept her composure about her job , and was a very confident and striking person , it was very , very unusual for her to be this upset about something that she saw . Wondering what this was leading to, Ethan agreed and said yes.

"I had finished working on the Victorson case and was just about to leave for the night, when one of the storage units stirred. A hand popped out and then a whole body, as I realized it was coming after me I left and ran all the way here to my house. And the hand that was coming out of the morgue was dead Ethan, very much dead and connected to a dead person. I swear I am sure that is what I saw! There is no doubt in my mind about it."

After working at the morgue for six months Elsie had begun to believe in the supernatural, she never even really believed in God, or Jesus, or anything to do with Christianity, but as she became more at home with the dead, she did begin to feel presences some time. They weren't human, but her mind strong, scientific and rational, tried to make her think it was just paranoia. So she began to look for someone hiding in the morgue, but never found anybody. And as she left work every day she saw the same owl fly by and hoot at her. But how could that be possible? Owls don't track humans, and why would they for six months?

Ethan drew a deep breath from his deep within his lungs, brought it up to the top of his chest, and eased the measured breath out slowly.  Elsie is a very logical person, Elsie doesn't make up stories, and this isn't some elaborate Halloween prank, she would never do something so serious. But a corpse couldn't have stood up and walked out its coffin. That simply isn't possible. Elsie must have only thought she had seen something that wasn't there. It must be.

As Ethan began to draw his second breath, Elsie interrupted his thoughts before he had time to make a reply.

"You have to believe that I saw something. And I am sure it was a dead body, I have spent months examining them and taking them apart, and then putting them back together again, and I can instantly tell when a body is not being used anymore. This one moved, and it had one of my tags on it, and..." Elsie scoured her memories of all the bodies she had recently examined, trying to match a name to the body that had attacked her. And the name came out of the dark and scared recesses of her mind with a lurid clarity.

“Delilah, her name was Delilah Morley."

eery - uncanny - weird - gruesome - lurid - macabre

Adventure Ship Ahoy !

Dear Bloggers,

My last post was about accepting God. And I still do. However I have realized my change is also something that would have occurred on my own.

I am God's creation , but I also have some freedom to make my choices.
My future is open to my own discretion. And that is terrifying , it has never
been this way and I never been fully aware of it this way. If you are a young person still living with your family enjoy it , your time well come when you are completely changed person. You well look in the mirror and wonder where your old self went.

You might wish that old , would come back. Old and comfy. That safety net you never realized you had until now. But my safety net is gone and I am already swimming in the ocean. I have already let go of the past without realizing it. And instead of thinking about the lost and the unreachable , I am looking towards the new and exciting future.

I am ready to jump on a ship and set sail for new horizons. And even though this was true for along time , I clung to the idea of the past land I used to live on. And believe me you can drown in the ocean and pretend to swim home at the same time. I woke up and I thought this is all a bad dream , if I lay down it won't be as bad it used to be and I can forget being scared.

But it well get bad again , I well surely make mistakes again , but the best I can say is that I have learned enough to start this new life on this new ship as most prepared as I can be.

Now do you want to wish for safety and past ?

OR DO YOU WANT AN ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME ?

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.             Helen Keller

Dear Blog ,

Don't lie to yourself , no matter how ugly your situation is.
You can only grow when you accept change. As much we would like
to be in our own most comfortable room for the rest of our lives , we just
can't be.

We want our family's to stay the same , our financial situation to stay steady,
our homes clean and our thoughts stable. The ugly feeling we get when we feel we have lost everything is a sign of growth. We are learning to accept change and our new surroudings. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone and say I have lost everything. Chances are they are in the midst of a transformation too.

I try really hard to say nothing has changed , and I can't believe it anymore. My world is gone . I don't exist anymore.

It is something strange and terrifying , but you die once you find God.
You do not exist anymore. You are not living for yourself anymore.
You don't want the same things anymore. You are dead.
R.I.P
Melody McEwen
1992-2013
I need a memorial service for myself. And maybe you do to.
Death is the loss of something. Not just death of body.
But loss of identity , loss of surroundings , loss of familiarity.
You had to loose yourself to grow. So you wake up in the morning and don't recognize yourself anymore. Because you have changed , in ways you don't fully understand yet.
The one thought keeping you going is that you still have yourself , your identity.


But we don't , God has us. We were never in charge to begin with , we just learned to be arrogant , greedy and assume we could rule everything. God owns you. So when you look and the mirror and can't see yourself , it is because God is there.

So rest in peace Melody , because I am not coming back again.

My sins are forgiven , my soul is washed clean. And I have to remember humility and honesty.

 I simply doesn't exist anymore. But I still matter , and still have a chance for many smiles , but they won't come before the harsh realities , tears , and screams.

I am changed person , I am not lost. God is here somewhere trying to help.

I just want to be home. Safe. The world is on fire. How can I not scream ? I want everything they way it used to be. Its impossible. We get so confused when we want something , because a lot the time these desires don't meet up with reality. And we wonder what is wrong with ourselves , why can't we want anything that has a possibility to exist. At the core of everyone we are irrational , scared , loving , bright creatures that want to be free. We we what everything we can take and every happiness we can imagine.
Our souls weren't made for earth , too much pain and agony . We were really made for heaven. The world is full of too much pain to be happy all the time. But embrace the transformation , be honest with yourself and you can find balance between the darkest day and the brightest night. And say , God save me ! Because we really can't help ourselves without God first. Sincerely, Lost Soul